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Trojan War (film)
| director = George Huang | producer = Charles Gordon | cinematography = Dean Semler | music = | distributor = Warner Bros. Pictures | released = | runtime = 84 minutes | country = United States | language = English | budget = $15 million | gross = $309 }} Trojan War is a 1997 American romantic comedy film directed by George Huang and starring Will Friedle, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Marley Shelton. The film was a critical and box office disaster. Produced for $15 million, it made only $309 in ticket sales because it was played in a single movie theater and was pulled after only a week. Plot High school student Brad (Friedle) has had an unrequited crush on a classmate named Brooke (Marley Shelton) for years. After she asks him to come over one night to tutor her, she ends up wanting to have sex with him. But she only wants safe sex, and he does not have a condom (the use of Trojan in the title is a pun on the condom brand of the same name). In his quest to buy some condoms, he runs into all sorts of trouble; his dad's Jaguar gets stolen and then wrecked, he has a run-in with a crazy bus driver (Anthony Michael Hall), he is held hostage, he is pursued by a school janitor (Paulo Tocha) who accuses him of drawing graffiti, an odd pair of Hispanic siblings (Christine Deaver and Mike Moroff) who thinks he looks like David Hasselhoff, Brooke's dog, Brooke's jealous boyfriend Kyle (Eric Balfour), and a homeless man (David Patrick Kelly) who wants two dollars from him (and has secretly stolen his wallet), and he is arrested. After all of this and finally receiving a condom from a police officer who releases him, he realizes that the perfect girl has been there for him all along: his best friend Leah (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who has had feelings for him for a long time unbeknownst to Brad. Finally, Brad realizes his own feelings for Leah while also discovering Brooke is not as great as he thought she was, after he finds out that she only wants a one night stand with him instead of a relationship. Brad runs out to find Leah and professes his feelings to her, and they kiss each other by moonlight. After the end credits, Brad's parents are shocked by the sight of what is left of their car after the tow truck driver brings it back. Cast * Will Friedle as Brad Kimble * Jennifer Love Hewitt as Leah Jones * Marley Shelton as Brooke Kingsley * Danny Masterson as Seth * Jason Marsden as Josh * Eric Balfour as Kyle * Lee Majors as Officer Austin * John Finn as Ben Kimble * Wendie Malick as Beverly Kimble * Jennie Kwan as Trish * Charlotte Lopez as Nina * Christine Deaver as Latin Mama * Mike Moroff as Big Brother * lobo Sebastian as Lead Homeboy * Joe Cerrano as Biggest Homeboy * Julian Cegario as Homeboy * Paulo Tocha as Janitor * Anthony Michael Hall as Bus Driver * David Patrick Kelly as Bagman * Danny Trejo as Scarface Songs featured in the motion picture * "I'll Fall With Your Knife" - Performed by Peter Murphy * "Disappear" - Performed by Letters To Cleo * "You Are Here" - Performed by Star 69 * "All Five Senses" - Performed by Pomegranate * "The Word Behind Words" - Performed by Jeremy Toback * "The Love You Save" - Performed by Madder Rose * "Snakebellies" - Performed by Fu Manchu * "The Boys Are Back In Town" - Performed by The Cardigans * "I Hope I Don't Fall In Love With You" - Performed by Jennifer Love Hewitt * "You're One" - Performed by Imperial Teen * "I Have A Date" - Performed by The Vandals * "Underdog" - Performed by astroPuppees * "Next To You" - Performed by Dance Hall Crashers * "Yo Soy El Son Cubano" - Performed by Parmenio Salazar * "Mistreated" - Performed by Shufflepuck * "Don't Be" - Performed by astroPuppees * "Disco Inferno" - Performed by The Trammps * "American Girl - Performed by Everclear * "American City World" - Performed by Triple Fast Action * "What a Bore" - Performed by Muzzle * "Boom, Boom, Boom" - Performed by Juster * "I Believe In" - Performed by Jennifer Love Hewitt * "I'll Fall With Your Knife" - Performed by Tom Hiel * "Trouble" - Performed by Shampoo * "I've Got a Flair" - Performed by Fountains of Wayne * "Can't Hold Me Down" - Performed by Schleprock * "The Burning" - Performed by Teta Vega Box office The film was released in only a single movie theatre and was pulled after only one week. It earned a total of $309 against a production budget of $15 million. As of 2007 it was the fifth lowest grossing film since modern record keeping began in the 1980's. Dade Hayes of Variety magazine explained that a single theater release is more about fulfilling contractual obligations than anything to do with audience reaction to the film. Reception Nathan Rabin of The Onion's The A.V. Club wrote: "It may be formulaic, predictable and as substantial as a Little Debbie snack cake, but as a loving, inane throwback to the golden age of the Brat Pack and the two Coreys, it's irresistible." Charles Tatum of efilmcritic wrote: "Sometimes, a movie comes along that makes you want to sob, and not in the good way." References External links * * * Category:1997 films Category:1990s teen comedy films Category:1990s romantic comedy films Category:Films directed by George Huang Category:Warner Bros. films